People who have known me for a long time sometimes say, “What a development you have undergone in recent years!”
And yes, I can confirm that with pleasure.
About five years ago, I was a pretty insecure person that let others decide for me. I acted dependent on others and certainly did not dare express my opinion and emotions. I partly “copied” and mastered this behaviour from my mother. Later, in a love affair that lasted 19 years, this behaviour was further shaped and strengthened. I could not compete with a strong personality who was also very strong in communication. It made me hold back and let others determine for me. I lived my partner’s life more than my own life.
I did not dare to take steps to find work that suited me. Because of the uncertainty, I hardly dared to investigate what that could be. Because then I have to take action and that’s scary! I got a job at a dusty warehouse office through an employment agency. Waiting for me to be there, I hoped that a supervisor saw that I had more potential. That he would have a more suitable position for me in another department. And that he would take me away from where I was. Fortunately, that happened too. However, it did not get much better.
My then-partner helped me in that area. But it created the situation that he became both my partner and my coach, which is not a healthy situation. And so I lingered in the office for years, sitting full-time behind a screen and telephone, solving problems for pharmaceutical companies. I was not living my “natural rhythm” at all. All kinds of physical complaints that were stress-related arose, such as eczema.
Until I felt I didn’t want to live like this for many more years.
In 2013/2014, I came across a video of Mindvalley asking to make three wish lists;
~ A list for growth; what growth (physical/emotional/mental) do I want to go through?
~ A list of experiences, what do I want to experience in my life, how do I want to live?
~ And a list of my contributions to the world, to the bigger picture.
So those were extensive wish lists! I stuck these on my wardrobe so that I saw and read these lists every day. I did that for a long time until the plans were my own. And what is so remarkable; gradually, all kinds of things happened that made my life more and more shaped according to what I had written on these wish lists. How beautiful is that !?
I’ll take you on this path for a while…
In 2015, plant medicines came my way, which piqued my interest. I read and heard that it could be very intense that you have to go through deep inner processes. And that was precisely what appealed to me! Live through many old memories in a short time (during a ceremony), look at them again from a distance and now express the emotions that I could not express at the time—giving a place to specific events, finishing them. And in my case, I also feel a lot of love for myself. And cherish everything that lives on this earth.
Ayahuasca, truffles, and magic mushrooms have helped me express all kinds of pent-up emotions, giving a very liberating feeling. I was so impressed by what it brought me that I felt I wanted to accompany these ceremonies myself. I started assisting others in these processes.
And at this organization, The Sacred Voyage, I followed an intense year of training which strengthened me further. Here I grew further, and I felt surrounded by like-minded people. I have learned a lot in terms of communication in a clear, loving and respectful way.
At one point, I took the chance to offer a workshop myself during a 6-day retreat. It became a barefoot forest walk in the early morning. I thought it was exhilarating. But what a sense of satisfaction when I saw happy faces and received excellent reactions at the end of the walk. I felt clear that I want to connect people and give them a pleasant experience!
2017 – the year of transformation
This year I took part in the annual training of The Sacred Voyage. And a journey it was!
In the process that followed, I made significant changes to my life. So my then-partner and I decided together after 19 years to continue as friends, no longer as lovers. We sold our house, and for the first time in my life, I came to live independently. Exciting and new, but also educational and great fun! More changes followed as my work duties changed, and I struggled to meet high expectations in a stressful environment. I couldn’t and didn’t want to participate in this rat race anymore. Sometimes I zoomed out and saw myself from above sitting behind that desk eight hours a day, stuck in the same position. Very unhealthy for my body because that needs exercise and much less screen time.
At the end of September, I worked my last day at work and what a relief I felt when I left that company! A huge weight fell off my shoulders. I felt soo good; single, living independently in a small but charming house, and unemployed. I could do whatever I wanted, wonderfully free!
So, a lot of cleaning up and cleaning up. And then?
After all the hectic that brings so many changes, I felt I wanted to investigate what I want in terms of work. First, it was time for rest and reflection. I took a year’s sabbatical for this. As my head became more and more tidy and empty, there was room for something else. And that was what I had been feeling for some time; connecting people.
That is how Biodanza came my way, a form of free dance where you become more aware of your body and dance in connection with others. Delicious, very lovely! I started training to become a Biodanza teacher in Amsterdam. And letting people connect through loving touch also appealed to me. A new training came that I followed, and since 2019 I can call myself a certified Facilitator at Cuddle Workshops Netherlands and Belgium.
2019 – the year of manifestation
Two years ago, I registered my own company at the Chamber of Commerce (which I never expected to do this one day – scary! Haha) and started my adventure by giving workshops. Very exciting, but so educational and beautiful! It was a boost for my self-confidence because I received many heart-warming reactions after my workshops and saw people come back more often. I could give them valuable experience.
And how nice it is to bring this beautiful work together with the qualities that Floris has to offer! It comes together beautifully in our Happy Flow sessions and YinYang retreats. So great that I can immerse myself in connecting people through movement and dance. Floris brings all his knowledge about self-awareness, reflection and relaxation through meditation, sound experiences and Qi gong into this. It feels like wealth to be able to offer this together. I can learn a lot from Floris, and together we grow further.
2021 – the year of realisation
The way I live now, together with Floris, comes very close to my ideal image of what I thought years ago that I wanted to live that way. Much more in my natural rhythm. And it is still evolving. Especially after Corona, we can again give workshops and retreats in the world’s most beautiful places.
When we can help more and more people keep their health high preventively, and when they have complaints, they can help tackle them more quickly. We can now offer that with a beautiful device that works with healing frequencies – pure nature!
This device not only helps to keep our physical, emotional and mental health high. It also helps financially with extra income. Being engaged in positively promoting health for ourselves and the people around us feels like wealth!
So much for my sacred journey. The dream that I live!
To be continued…